Want to be a member of the Harrilchak Norris Campaign Staff? Email your name, title, a blurb about yourself and a photo to firstname.lastname@example.org and we may consider it.
Cameron Hager | Chief of Style
Cam’s integral role in the campaign lies in providing invaluable style advice for the candidates. Foundational pieces of The Campaign Line include denim (to connect with the common man), leopard print (to connect with the common animal), and denim (to re-connect with the common man). Outfits donned by the candidates will be functional, fashionable, and, at times, tasteful. Taking office has never looked so good.
Edward Munk | Chief Alternative Fact Checker (CAFC)
One of the nation’s leading Fact Checkers, Edward Munk has contributed valuable insights into how alternative facts make America great. He is the author of three books, including two in English— How Donald Trump Won the Popular Vote and Global Warming: A thing of the past—and more than 100 peer-reviewed articles and book chapters. Munk’s team is responsible for creating and checking alternative facts that support and advance the Harrilchak | Norris platform. He is excited, and ready, to join the Pio community, and serve the greater University of Delaware community.
Jack Trembath | Bird Call Interpreter
I put the flash drive in right the first try. I walk around the kitchen at night without bumping in to anything. Jerry of the day enthusiast.
Thomas Marks | Fake News and Meme Expert
The world can be a scary, disagreeable place, but it doesn’t have to stay that way. Tom Marks is a true visionary with 12 years of experience of making the world a better place. Ignorance is bliss, and by providing memes (particularly in shirt form) and alternative facts that fit everyone’s personality people never have to worry! Knowing is half the battle, so let’s just stop the battle now.
Alexander Pizette | Chief Meteorologist, New England Dialect Coach
Growing up the son of the wealthiest wacky- waving-inflatable-arm-tube-man salesmen on the Eastern seaboard has given me the tools it takes to play an intricate role in the Harrilchak-Norris campaign towards absolute and unquestioned authority.
Noah Milchuck | Strategic Dynamic Specialist, Gratitude and Energy Coordinator
I’m not going to bore you with my job on this team but trust me, its important. I’m just a University of Phoenix grad, above average checkers player, and below average swimmer. Adventurer by day, lover by night. Hook em.
Alex Brewer-Fong | Executive Producer of Experimental Outreach
Though I’m no longer allowed within 300 feet of an elementary school, I like to think that I’m still a child at heart. I hope to bring a youthful exuberance to this campaign through a combination of socially engineered propaganda manipulation and heartfelt passion. Laura Bush killed Tupac.
Chip Cipoletti | Chief Metaphorologist
Vocal. Vegan. Vapes.
Zach Kunkel | Chief Officer of Fun, #SeniorHashtagAdvisor
I am thoroughly excited to join the team at Harrilchak-Norris as their Chief Officer of Fun and #SeniorHashtagAdvisor. I don’t feel I need to prove my worth. ALRIGHT. If you really want me to, I will. My work speaks for itself. Who do you think devised Spongebob’s F.U.N. song? Who do you think advised Fun. what to name their band? Who do you think pioneered (Go Pios) the #icebucketchallenge? Exactly. I am fluent in fun and #hashtags.
Mikah Conway | Chief Foreign Executive Policy Branch Manager
Mikah Conway is a honest, hard-working, dog-loving individual. He believes in the integrity of this institution and the continuation of it’s excellence and funability, which is where he earned his spot on the Harrilchak, Norris campaign. If you asked him his favorite food, it would probably be spaghetti.
Riley Powers | Hall Monitor
“You come at the king, you best not miss”
Marie Ryan | PR Representative and Social Guru
Hey guys! I’m a Leo, need I say more?? I’m fierce, I’m loyal, and I’m fiercely loyal. Diane Keaton makes me uncomfortable. Let’s build a better tomorrow! Celebrity Crush: Toby Flenderson Hobbies: Plants
Nick Kruse | Chief Shred-ologist (Shred-Gnarologist*)
Vertical Market development is an important segment of any well rounded economic plan. Harrilchak Norris understand the importance of verticals, be they founded in economic or shred spaces. Growth only goes in one direction, up. Get pitted, get committed, go vote.*
Lady Margaret Kelly of Kensington | Deputy of Transatlantic behaviour and pinky height standards
Representative of posture and pinkie alignment. Fortnightly speaker regarding tea and tea theory represented throughout the campaign.
James Sielatycki | Head of Security and Martial Arts, Mid-Western Surgeon General Assistant
James has actually been head of security ever since he turned 21. Now that he’s 22, he’s been focusing more on the mixed-martial arts aspect of the job. He’s a green belt but ‘is honestly really close to a black belt.’ Lover of Greek food and pellet guns, James is an all around American guy. Most importantly, the one thing that James believes in is a better Denver University. And he believes that Drew Harrilchak is the man for the job.
Nick “Blueberry Scone” Lewis | Marketing Intern
I’m just glad they wanted an intern.
Kyle Post | Head of Financial Thoughts, Chief Relative of Honest Abe Lincoln
Graduate of the School of Hard Knocks (Day Classes) Class of ’97. Amateur food critique, inspired by the great Anton Ego. Not much politically experience, but recently came in 2nd in Monopoly.
Gary Harrilchak | Head of Tivo Storage Management
Up at all hours of the night making sure the DVR priorities of the Harrilchak-Norris Campaign are in order. Constantly in search of the perfect pen.
Josh Fisher | Director of Parkour and Parkour Related Activities Inventor of Double-sided
“I went to Cornell, ya ever heard of it? Graduated in four years, never studied once, I was drunk the whole time. When I was in college I used to get wicked hammered. My nickname was puke. Probably would have gotten expelled if I had let it affect my grades, but I aced all my courses. They called me Ace. It was totally awesome. Got straight B’s. They called me Buzz.”
Cooper Fitzpatrick | Secretary of Secrets
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Sam Mizener | President of East Coast Television and Microwave Oven Programming
Sam Mizener enjoys long and intentful gazes out of his corner office in the heart of Cincinnati, Ohio as he sips skyline chilli and ponders campaign strategies for the Harrilchak Norris campaign.
Jack Anderson | Boom Pole Extraordinaire, Professional grizzly cage fighter, Personal body guard for Mr. Harrilchak
I’m the kind of guy who won’t let a single sound slip from the boom; not a belch, not a toot. Along with that my main operations are that I’m a bearded, diesel man (twitter handle: @silverbacksasquatch) so I provide protective services for any potential assassinations to our future Pio President.
Kenneth Scott | Physician, Campaign Health Advisor
“Kenneth, how can you be a doctor when you’ve never even been to med school?” My response? “How does a tree know to grow upwards?” Think about it.
Mackenzie Koeller | Chief Constituency Organizer
Hi my name is Mackenzie Koeller. I am a junior at Campbell university where I am majoring in taking care of Business and minoring in Espanol (That means Spanish in Spanish). As well as excelling in the classroom, I am also an active member of the Division I women’s lacrosse team here at Campbell.
Travis Harrilchak | Czar of Paying Attention
Czar of paying attention to the details, overall grumpiness, beer tastings, and moustachery.
Danny Brown | Celebrity Endorsement
Danny brings 4 years of experienced activism at DU to the team. He has spent time at countless student organizations and campus events, earning camaraderie from the Chaplain to Chandler Carlson, from the Swimming Team to Divest DU, from Suzie @ Nagel to Spun Out Vinyl. When Danny tags along with Drew and Brian, the popularity of the campaign will be movin’ and grindin’.
Robert Harlan | Viceroy of Intraclass Relations
Should any conflict break out between two or more classes in the same building, the very highly qualified Robert Harlan will be called in to negotiate the dispute according to the agenda and ideals of President Harrilchak.
Kayleigh Kearnan | Barista in Residence
Honing my craft for the greater good of the community.
Jose Serrano | Head of the Procrastination Department
I have a particular set of skills. Skills I have developed overnight.
Philip Rudyk | Producer of ‘Brunch with Bryan’
I’m the guy who pushes the “RECORD” button in a very professional manner.
Sam Flecker | Spiritual Liaison
I mediate relations between the candidates and incubuses and spirits residing in the DU area.
Kieran Doyle | Chief Jargon Utilizer and Synergistic Specialist
Kieran has been deeply integrated into system design management and augmenting core competencies among business professionals. He empowers employees in diverse specialization to create solutions focused on business efficacy and consumer empowerment. In addition to directing employer attention to core values and outside-the-box thinking, Kieran enjoys having all of his ducks in a row and all of his ecosystem variables squared away.